Gossip

This has been prompted by a rant from the wonderful @amyunchained. But it has been a bugbear of mine for some time - the acceptance of gossip in church circles, while railing against other sins.

Gossip is about hearing information, and passing it on, or even just remembering/recording it as accepted information. It does not have to be malicious, but it is unsubstantiated. It is something that is seen in other circles, but it is in the church that it is most damaging, I think, because the church is a place that should be safe.

One of the problems is that it is rife across all areas of the church. From the prayers who listen to peoples problems and accept their perception on issues, without knowing whether they have the full story, to clergy who listen to comments about their congregation, because they have to, but store that information away, to the various groups in the church who pass information around "just for prayer".

The problem is that gossip is deadly to a community, because there is never any opportunity to respond to the gossip, as it is never discussed with the person concerned. Even when it is, that may be only one version of the story, and it seems that getting the truth spread around is more difficult than gossip. So people are trying to relate when those they are relating to believe things about them. What is more, they know that there might be stories about them spread about as well, and so tend not to open up so much to others. All in all, it does not make for a good community.

Gossip, when it is left to fester and spread, takes on the aura of truth - people tend to believe what others tell them, if it is not contradicted. So lies spread as truth, and truth suffers. That is not good for a community whose core values should be truth. When truth suffers, The Truth suffers, because our message is something we must embody - in fact, what we embody becomes our message, whether we like it or not.

So when a bishop gets letters or phone calls from parishioners, the prevalence of gossip means that he cannot be sure whether it is genuine or just someone with a grudge. So often, the result is that the church authorities take the side of the clergy, and dismiss the claims, because they probably know them better, and trust them. The assumption is that complaints are just malicious gossip.

Whatever, gossip destroys community, destroys church, destroys people. I knew a friend who was attending a con-evo church, but had to leave, because some of her past was spread about. What does that say about them? What does it say about the church when we prefer to spread rumour and lies than truth? What does it say about us? How can we be honest, when we do not believe in truth? And if we cannot be honest, we cannot be open, we cannot be a community, and we cannot therefore be the people of Jesus.

GOSSIP IS DEADLY. STOP IT. OR GIVE UP PRETENDING TO BE DIFFERENT. End of.