Monday 23 September 2013

The secret Diary of a Call Girl

I have been watching this on Lovefilm recently, and have been intrigued and surprised by it. I had caught clips and trailers for it when it was on TV, but only part of episodes, inconsistently.

I had expected it would be sleazy and sordid, but was pleasantly surprised - it is definitely justifying its 18 rating, but it is also humerous and insightful. In its way.

It is, for those who don't know, the televised version of the diaries of a genuine escort, who worked as a prostitute for a few years when she didn't really know what else to do. In honestly, it does rather glamourise the world, not least by staying in the high end market only. I am in no doubt that it does not entirely reflect the business, and it probably rather over-glamourises the top end of the market. But there are a couple of important aspects that it demonstrates.

Firstly, it identifies a distinction between sex and relationships. In fact, at least one series is all around this very issue. Can a prostitute have a relationship? Well, according to the story shown, the answer is yes, although it does require the right sort of man, one who can separate the relationship from the job. Yes, sex is part of the relationship, but, for some men at least, there is more to a relationship than this, so for Belle to be continuing to have sex for money is not a problem.

I think this is a rather more positive approach to both relationships and sex than the one normally taught by the church. I am not suggesting that prostitution should be a career of choice for Christians, but I do thing that the focus on "get married so that you can have sex" demeans both. A loving relationship, that might include marriage, will tend to include sex. But - and I am sorry if this is shocking to you - embarking on a life-long relationship just to have sex seems rather drastic. Embarking on a relationship because you want to stay together for life seems like a far better reason and justification.

Secondly, one of the recurring themes is loneliness. This is twofold - Belle is having lots of sex and enjoying her work, but is still very lonely - there are very few people she can talk to about her work, and about why she does not have a boyfriend. Despite being an outgoing, likeable person, she is desperately lonely. I think that this is probably not just about her particular line of work. I suspect that there are many people who cannot talk about their problems, their lives, their failures as Christians with anyone, because there is no-one who would understand.

How many Christians cannot talk about their doubts and worries, because they don't want to be seen as losing their faith? Or men (especially) about their work challenges, because they do not want to be seen as weak to their colleagues, the only people who might actually understand their problems? Or people struggling with mental illness, who cannot talk because so many people are scared or prejudiced about mental illness?

The other side, which is the same coin, is how many of Belles clients are lonely. In many cases, the sex is just the justification for the meeting. They are actually lonely, want someone they can talk to about anything - as Belle says a number of times, her clients can talk about anything, in complete confidence. Maybe high class escorts are the new confessional priests.

Maybe it it time that Christians stopped being so judgmental, and started behaving like Belle - being prepared to listen to people, and accept whatever they have to say. If anyone does want to talk, please get in touch (boredwithchurch@gmail.com), because, while I may not be a prostitute, I try not to judge.


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